A younger version of us used to dream about the big life. We dreamt about waking up to the smell of coffee and applying mommy’s make up. We longed for the day when we would also be grownups.
At the mere age of seventeen, regret has oozed its way into my vocabulary. The 14-year old version of me would think I’m crazy, because who doesn’t want to grow up at that stage?
As young children, excitement and carefreeness ruled our endless days. Play dates and sweets filled our appetites. Life used to be one epic holiday. Mommy and Daddy were our heroes. Santa Claus used to be real.
The world seemed big and exuberant from your point of view. We cried and laughed and slept with a sense of joy. Big words were monotonously ignored. Our minds could create the world’s most riveting and compelling stories and adventures.
But, we couldn’t wait to grow up.
Slowly but surely, education entered out lives. We started making more and more friends. We became influenced by more dominated opinions – unless of course, you were the opinionated. And slowly but surely, day by day, a piece of our youth disintegrated at a slow pace.
Cartoon Network. Powerpuff Girls. Slumber parties. Your first friend fight. Gossip. Grounded for the first time. Boys. Clothes. Make up… We infiltrated the teenage stage of life. We started materializing thoughts of our own. We grew self-conscious. Some just tried to fit in. At that stage, we all wondered what life would be like several years later. We all waited anxiously for that life to arrive.
We couldn’t wait to grow up.
From primary school’s awkward stage, high school arrived. We marvelled at the thought of high school and all its vices. How extraordinary the status of an 18 year-old would be. The age where you’re able to do whatever whenever without mum and dad’s agonizing consent.
Throughout the course of high school, we journeyed against a pace of agitation. We hurried for the status of an older self – our youth passed us by.
It also promised some ominous truths we failed to see coming. We lost friends. We greeted alcohol. We winked at tobacco. Some tumbled at drug’s presence. The arrogance of school prestige at academics and sports continued in social aspects.
Cliques. If destiny was kind enough to grace you with a certain, exclusive group, you were lucky. The friends we thought were our true friends at grade 8’s midst, slowly faded. Your closest friend may have become your most malicious enemy. If you liked the same boy as one of the popular girls, well, may the odds have been in your favour.
We couldn’t wait to grow up.
Looks became more handsome than knowledge. Materialism. We allowed others to influence us. We made mistakes of which we knew the result. We started hating our parents. Because after all, what did they know about anything? Old people don’t understand us, right?
We still strive to grow up.
Yes, the world after primary education seems so grown up and official. We sugar-coat our thoughts continuously of what life would be like “one day” – much like what we’ve been doing these past few years. We need to slow down a bit and enjoy the present before it slips away.
One can never relive the past. One can never regain that carefree youth.
We can wait to grow up.